When Janel and I sat down to talk about our wedding, one thing repeatedly surfaced: we did not want our wedding to look like the movies. Janel didn't want a big dress, we didn't want it in a church, and we didn't want an expensive reception with a bouquet toss.
We spoke to each other about being a 'united front' against any forces that would want to change that idea. We were determined to fight the wedding industry when it came after our core ideas and mutated them into some crazy scheme. There were days I hesitated to use the word 'wedding' because of the images it manifests in people's heads.
The thing is... that strategy worked really well. It worked so well that we confused people. Family and friends didn't really know what to think. People asked me what to wear. People asked us if we were married secretly and this was just a way to tell everyone.
After the first few weeks of planning, when we worked to discourage traditional images of weddings from people's minds, we set out to convince everyone that we were are doing is the same thing as a normal wedding, it just looks different.
We're still doing a ceremony- it's just at the courthouse with a few people, no bridal party, no procession, and it will undoubtedly be short. But frankly, most weddings are only 15 minutes when you think about it. And its on a Friday, but that's because the courthouse isn't open on Saturdays and we wanted to do a brunch reception.
The brunch reception is also like a regular reception- except that its in the morning, there is not a dance floor, there will be no bouquet toss or head table, and while we'll have mimosas, the bar will not be open for people to go crazy. However, we will have a meal with our families who could make it. We'll have a guestbook and a photo album. We've got a slideshow with a trivia game on it for people to enjoy. And there are cupcakes. We'll even give a toast.
The afternoon looks much different for our friends, but that's because we never see them and wanted to have fun. We'll play a game for everyone to get to know one another, a sort of bachelor/bachelorette party activity that gets the members of our 'bridal party' having some fun. And then we'll feed them and have a toast and some wine and cupcakes. Don't forget the cupcakes.
As we've visualized more about our wedding celebration, we've realized it's the same, but different. We envisioned it a little differently that what we've all come to know about weddings, but its the same event. One of our friends recently visited and said 'I feel like you're having a party for me, not the other way around.' Neither Janel nor I said anything, but in my head I thought, 'that's exactly right.' We ARE having a party for everyone and we want everyone to have a good time without the pressure of buying bridal dresses or renting tuxes or worrying about the color scheme or purchasing gifts.
Our wedding is about the people who we love and care about and to celebrate a momentous occasion in our lives. We're getting married and its so exciting!
